So, I’ve learned I have more than 4 readers (at least one in another state! Wow!), and I worry them when I write sad posts and then don’t ever post again to say things are better. So this post is for you guys. 
I am doing much better. I can’t say circumstances have changed so much, because they really haven’t, but I am emotionally more able to handle things. I appreciate all the love that was poured out on me after my last post, although again I want to reiterate that I did NOT write that to get people to feel sorry for me. I am not depressed anymore. I guess I won another round. I can’t begin to hope that it will be the last one, but I’m ready again to take it on when the time comes.
Our house still hasn’t sold. I’m trying every day to be ok with that. I don’t hate living here, I really don’t. This is our first home. We bought it a little over a year after we got married. We’ve lived here over 8 years. We’ve brought both our boys from the hospital to this home. It’s the only home they’ve ever known. I think it is cozy and warm and a haven for all of us. But if our family purpose, or at least my personal purpose, is to adopt/foster/raise many children, then I can’t do that here. So this house has been outgrown by my mission. It is stunting my purpose, if that makes any sense. It makes sense to me anyway. LOL
I’ve been trying to change my attitude about things. Yeah, it’s a pain in the hiney to drive 30 minutes or more to get to church. But there are thousands of people in this world who walk for hours to get to church, or can’t go at all because it is too far to walk. I need to get over myself. I have a nice, air-conditioned car that gets me there with no effort on my part. My husband has a good job that he loves, and he is using that job to live his purpose. He also allows me to stay at home and homeschool our son. How amazing is that? In fact, the ONLY 2 things I would ask for right now to make my life perfect is for 1. Our house to sell., and 2. family to live closer. Otherwise, there is not a darn thing I can complain about. Which means I shouldn’t be complaining at all, if that’s all I’ve got.
I’m attending a class on Wednesday nights this summer at another church (Oh no! Gasp! Horrors!), and it is based on the book “Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.” I am going to try so hard to drink this in, really learn from it, and live it out. I am tired of not liking myself. I can improve things. I’ve already started.
So there you go. Life for now…still waiting, but waiting in a better place emotionally.
