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Brian and I started Life Lists a while ago…not sure exactly when, but we decided to actually write down the things we wanted to do during our lifetimes.   I like to make lists, and mark things off of lists, so this was a natural fit for me.  I actually bought Brian the book “No Opportunity Wasted” by Phil Keoghan (host of Amazing Race), which really breaks down the process and even gives you categories for your list.  Brian’s is posted on our family website, and mine is, well, in my head.  I had put it into my palm pilot, and then the palm pilot died.  So I wanted to resurrect it as best I could, and just add to it as I remember more things.  I only have a few at the moment, but I’m putting them down anyway.

1.  Run the ridge that Mel Gibson did in the movie “Braveheart”.

2.  See the butterflies in San Juan Capistrano.

3.  Swim with dolphins.

4.  Pet a zebra.

5.  Hang glide.

6.  Read all the books I own.

7.  Adopt a daughter.

8.  Adopt a child from another country.

9.  Visit the Holy Land.

10.  Witness the baptisms of all my children.

11.  Bring at least one person to the Lord.

12.  Home school my children.   (working on this one already!)

I can’t seem to find a happy medium in my life.  I’ve been going through quite a lot lately, and I started my blog to chronicle those kinds of things.  Yet here I am, barely posting more than a picture now and then.  I don’t know whether to quit entirely (I’ve been told recently that I tend to do that), make a commitment to post regularly, or continue as I am, just throwing something out there whenever I get a spare moment.  I’m going to have to think about it, when I have the time.  LOL!

So here’s the deal:  I’m honestly trying to make some changes.  I know, I’ve said that before.  I think it is to my credit that I keep trying, at least.  I refuse to just sit back and accept that I’m always going to fail.  I refuse to  give up on reaching at least a few of my impossibly high standards.  I know I am up for it.  I know I can do some of it.  I also know I can’t do all of it, and dang it that’s ok!

Things are going to get hairy around here very soon…for anyone out there who reads this and doesn’t already know, we are going to be adopting identical twin girls when they are born early this summer!  It is a very exciting thing, and also very intimidating.  I know my world is going to be rocked and so I want to make my changes now while I have the chance! 

Loving Father of mine, please guide me through all this.  You have put so much on my heart, so many things to work through and improve upon.  Please help me to do it.  Give me the strength, the patience, the joy.  Give me what I need, Lord.

I wonder if it is a standard procedure for people to wax poetic on their first blog post. It is for me. Well, actually, this is not my first blog post. I have written a couple on my myspace page, and a couple on our family’s homepage, but this is my first “official” blog on my very own spot. I have set some incredibly lofty goals for myself for this year. Most of them have been a long time coming…some I have already worked on but fell off during December for some reason. lol…Anyway, I want to capture my journey here, to be able to look back on myself and what I thought from day to day. I am afraid it won’t often be pretty. I have a tendency toward dark thoughts when it comes to myself. But I am hoping that some of my goals will work me out of that. Anyone who wants to keep up will see for themselves!

I won’t use the “r” word….this is just a list of things I want to do to create a new me.

1. Read Bible daily…I am actually doing the daily Bible with a group of people from our church. I know I can do this, I have done it before. Bible reading has been sorely lacking in my life recently, and I need that to change. I need to be in the Word.

2. Live a healthy lifestyle…I am about 25-30 pounds overweight. It is causing me to have high blood pressure as well as self-image problems. I plan to eat better, drink lots of water, and exercise at least 5 days a week. Ugh. I hate exercise.

3. Get organized. This may be a funny one to those who know me well..I keep my movies in alphabetical order, for Pete’s sake! But I feel that my days are wildly out of control. Our family desperately needs a schedule. I can never fit everything in and that leads to my beating myself up…again. I know there is enough time in a day. I have got to stop wasting it.

Today is day one. Did I eat right? Well, I ate better than I have for the past few weeks. I can do better. Did I exercise? No. Have I read my Bible yet? No. But I will before I go to bed. I am not beating myself up for not reaching goals. I will be a work in progress, and when I fall down I will get back up. I heard the Natasha Bedingfield song “Unwritten” today. Today is where my book begins. The rest is still unwritten…..