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Ha ha that was SO bad!  But it was what was in my head at the moment.  I just wanted all my regular readers to know that I have moved my blog.  We thought we could forward it from here so when someone came here it would take you to the new site, but it won’t work.  So I just have to spread the word.  My new blog is at www.holaway.com/kristi.  It’s still under a tiny bit of construction but is enough for you to read.  I’ll try to email my regular readers but in case I miss someone…here’s your notice.

We finally got a piece of the pi-hi-hi-i-i-ie.

So, I’ve learned I have more than 4 readers (at least one in another state! Wow!), and I worry them when I write sad posts and then don’t ever post again to say things are better. So this post is for you guys.

I am doing much better. I can’t say circumstances have changed so much, because they really haven’t, but I am emotionally more able to handle things.  I appreciate all the love that was poured out on me after my last post, although again I want to reiterate that I did NOT write that to get people to feel sorry for me.  I am not depressed anymore.  I guess I won another round.  I can’t begin to hope that it will be the last one, but I’m ready again to take it on when the time comes.

Our house still hasn’t sold.  I’m trying every day to be ok with that.  I don’t hate living here, I really don’t.  This is our first home.  We bought it a little over a year after we got married.  We’ve lived here over 8 years.  We’ve brought both our boys from the hospital to this home.  It’s the only home they’ve ever known.  I think it is cozy and warm and a haven for all of us.  But if our family purpose, or at least my personal purpose, is to adopt/foster/raise many children, then I can’t do that here.  So this house has been outgrown by my mission.  It is stunting my purpose, if that makes any sense.  It makes sense to me anyway.  LOL

I’ve been trying to change my attitude about things.  Yeah, it’s a pain in the hiney to drive 30 minutes or more to get to church.  But there are thousands of people in this world who walk for hours to get to church, or can’t go at all because it is too far to walk.  I need to get over myself.  I have a nice, air-conditioned car that gets me there with no effort on my part.  My husband has a good job that he loves, and he is using that job to live his purpose.  He also allows me to stay at home and homeschool our son.  How amazing is that?  In fact, the ONLY 2 things I would ask for right now to make my life perfect is for 1.  Our house to sell., and 2. family to live closer.  Otherwise, there is not a darn thing I can complain about.  Which means I shouldn’t be complaining at all, if that’s all I’ve got.

I’m attending a class on Wednesday nights this summer at another church (Oh no!  Gasp! Horrors!), and it is based on the book “Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.”  I am going to try so hard to drink this in, really learn from it, and live it out.  I am tired of not liking myself.  I can improve things.  I’ve already started.

So there you go.  Life for now…still waiting, but waiting in a better place emotionally.

This has been a week full of questions for me.  I feel like I am in such a weird place….I had so many things mapped out for my life in the next few months.  Many were turned upside down with the news of the twins.   I rolled with it,  though…if God had it in  His plan for me, I could handle it.  I started making new plans.  Lots of them.  It was fun.  Then I got the call that the twins weren’t to be.  What?  Everything with the twins had fallen into place so beautifully….I never doubted for a minute that they were from God.  His hands were all over it.  But were they?  Why did this happen, then?  Was it something else?  Was He (painfully) preparing me for something else?  I don’t know.  I am sure I will in time, but for now I am left wondering.

Another beautifully blessed day in the “trixie” household.  The boys got along great, I got along with them….we had a great school day (ds #1 gave me a big hug after reading and said “Thanks, Mom!”), we even made cookies!  I also finished book #2 in the aforementioned trilogy.  I’ve gotta say, it feels so good to be reading fiction again.  I even checked out a juvenile fiction book at the library the other day (Stargirl, Tamara!).  I am going to try to keep it up.  It is good for me.  And so, clearly, is daily Bible reading and prayer.  Now THERE is a novel idea…why didn’t someone tell me this before?  Oh, right.  They did. *sigh*

No, seriously, I can’t think of a thing to say.  Nothing to complain about though, so it must be a good day.